Sorry,
I know I know ive been slacking but i mean if i havent wrote in this thing i must have been busy right? and i have been...a lot
i just got this new car 2000 Cavalier black, its nice. and im paying for that which means working a lot, and i just got another job for the summer so thats all good, still no girl
Ryan

"Im a slacker, sorry"
so a little has happened. I recent went on a retreat with some friends. i went to a town called beardstown. its in Illinois. anyway, i went there last year with the same group, minus and add a few different this year. well i end up going down there, thinking its just a good weekend getaway and a little time to get right with God. Ever since i was a little kid i was pretty religous, although I lost sight of all that when i became a teen, something clicked in me that had never been so strong before. I feel ive been called by God in a way. i think im going to pursue this call whatever it may be. Most of my friends are and will giving me a hard time about it all cause im not the most Godly person these days, i feel something has changed though, i hope i figure out what it is soon. anyway, so thats that, all i had to say. later

well, well ,well

so good to see this page again. i havent died so dont worry. lets see, hmm well job sux, and its really boring so im trying for a miller lite job, i dont think im doing school next year. im just not college material i think, maybe a trade school or just some good ol time off will helpme out.Im doing some music on and off. expanding some horizons and shit. so we'll see. i hope to get into some acting again sometime soon. I went on a blind date the other nite. wow, you know how those things usually are bad, well this one was awesome. this girl is really attractive great set a....brains. haha. no really shes got great personality. but i dont know her all that well yet. i only know the bit i got too the other nite. hopefully she will call me. ive called her enough already, dont want to be too forward.
now its time for the part where i go into deep thought. War in Iraq. well i dont exactly know the whole schmeal on why were there. i should watch news more often. i was skimming through channels and mtv popped up. Could a station be any more anti war. they show all these people against the war, but they have no valid reasoning to back up their thoughts. goes to show youth doesnt know or care about anything anymore. i think we should be there, but im pretty sure the Iraqy people will not like us after all of this is over. terrorism will come back again i think. on to a lighter subject. Girls. Always a good subject unless your gay. beautiful girls are around everyday. i see them constantly these days. You know how i figure it all. Guys like me, nice guys, dont really know what we want. but when we do we can get it, cuz girls these days like guys who are dicks. guys who use abuse and throw away like nothing happened. I cant do that. my only fault i feel, is when i think a girl likes me, i rush in too fast. ive tried to fix this but i just feel if i like a girl i need to show it and well. i dont know. Guys like me dont get beautiful girls everyday. God doesnt just make those girls. he waits for guys like to wish for her and then they just are.

well....welll....weeeelllll"

sorry about the delay once again, i dont even know if people read this but ill entertain myself anyway. well, member the last blog, well that girl got mad at me cuz i wanted to go to a memorial party for one of my friends. so o well. cya later. on the other recent news, i recently started playing with a start up band threeunanswered. decent group but we need some work so we'll see. im not going to college next so ive decided, instead im going to trade school and getting done soon. and other than that nothing too much new. soo cya

Happy to say..."

so good things have been going for me lately. my good friend andrea, well now even better friend is blowing me away. i like her alot, but she just got out of a relationship just recently and im not gonna push anything but weve been hangin out having some good ol fashion fun. but hey im kinda tired ill give more details later

Snowing like a bitch outside"

Ugh i hate snow, and i hate driving init. blah.this week has sucked so bad. i did nothing. seriously all my friends ditched me this week. they were all too busy. and i hate feeling sorry for myself. im so fucking depressed. i hate it here, and i hate my life and where its going. everyday i wake up and try to a positive outlook on things. and then shit just ruins my positiveness. im so sick of this god forsaken place and these people. God! ahhhhhh!. im gonna fucking go, sorry this sucks so bad.

surprised they didnt cancel this thing yet"

not too much is new and im too lazy to type. but all is well. k later